i can imagine
loving nothing more

   than writing
     endlessly

except for the fact
     that i've

    been there

        and

     done that

   and know how
 quickly the love
      therein

       sours

         ~

the words are mine

the meaning is you

         ~

 reflection of the
     glory of

  i am that i am

  seems all this
     and that

and endless others

         ~

    i can see a
   threshold of
      madness

which is to believe
the impossible must
      be done

  by a doer that
       isn't

in accord with the
 expectations of a
figment of a crowd
  of one or more

    such is the
posit-ion posit-ed
 by a false sense
  of free-willed
   individuality

         ~

   all mental is
      illness

         ~

   mis-taking a
thought for reality
 is a banana peel
 before a downward
  staircase to a
smoldering heap of
 conceptual misery

         ~

"hold onto 'i am':
  you must focus
 your mind on the
  feeling 'i am,'
 which is pure and
simple being. this
'i am' is the only
true statement you
  can be sure of,
  and all else is
 mere inference."

         ~

      all is
  re-presentation
       (aka
again-presentation)
 of what can't be
 re-presented (aka
 again-presented)

  and the seeming
ongoing attempt is
   called "time"

seemingly "ongoing"
  (aka endlessly
again) because what
has never been lost
  cannot be found

         ~

  there's nothing
 to do but see in
literally no terms
  - i.e. neither
   uncertain nor
 otherwise - that
 there's no one to
 do anything, and
 that the illusion
 of time is merely
  imagining that
     there is

         ~

  "what was never
  lost can never
     be found.

 your very search
  for safety and
joy keeps you away
    from them.

  stop searching,
 cease losing. the
 disease is simple
  and the remedy
  equally simple.

  it is your mind
  only that makes
   you insecure
   and unhappy.
anticipation makes
   you insecure,
  memory unhappy.

   stop misusing
 your mind and all
 will be well with
 you. you need not
  set it right -
it will set itself
 right, as soon as
  you give up all
 concern with the
past and the future
 and live entirely
   in the now."

         ~

  "being precedes
     thinking

i used to go crazy
over this awakening
 busyness until i
 realized what the
   problem was.

   i'm trying to
 verify something
 through the very
  medium that is
 being verified to
  be an illusion.

 let that sink in.

 you're trying to
 think about being
   in a state of
 not thinking/non
  duality through
your thoughts. it's
 like fucking for
    virginity.

 realize that you
can be simply aware
 without thinking.

 let it sink in."

         ~

i want to write and
write and write and
 awaken in a world
 where doing that
   would matter

         ~

so the self is the
  separate seeker
   that pursues
  everything that
 it thinks it can
know and do, except
 ting the absence
  of itself. that
  absence is the
  emptiness which
  is unknowable,
 but paradoxically
    is also the
  very fullness,
   the wholeness
(paradise) that is
    longed for.

         ~

 my browser is an
  amalgam of text
  getters for the
    http[s]://,
    gopher://,
  gemini://, and
 nex:// protocols,
  leveraging tmux
windows as browser
 tabs, and "less"
 as a viewer - the
quitting from which
leads to a command
 prompt mostly for
  entering a link
number and hitting
 <enter> to open a
     new link

 the hardest part
 was slowly coming
   to understand
  relative links
  in the various
    protocols,
   which i found
 so little actual
documentation for,
 so it was mostly
 a trial and error
     discovery

         ~

   the world is
  fast losing its
 fascinatory grip

   all so easily
 explained by ego
    collisions

 the disorienting
    chimera of
    proclaimed
 community amongst
    automatons

         ~

the world delusion
  helps maintain
 the individuality
    delusion by
 giving the latter
seemingly infinite
 reasons to remain
    delusional

         ~

 people turn from
the truth and then
  wonder why they
   have no truth

 note: "turn from
 the truth" means
   "look outward
 for it instead of
   inward at it"

         ~

  ah, the endless
  circling of the
drain also known as
  "knowing" what
  something "is"
   by being able
 to categorize it
and/or its details
     in works

    i'm calling
     bullshit

         ~

    the reason
  religions tend
  to look down on
 sex, or at least
  restrict it to
   be as minimal
  as possible is
 because when you
be coming, more of
the world illusion
  potentially be
      coming

         ~

 the way out is in

         ~

wanting is being me

   self is want

     i.e. lack

   state thereof

   by definition

    the seeming
separate individual

 of course that's
    continuous
     want/lack

         ~

it's always best to
avoid other people

   but for it to
really be effective
it must include the
pseudo person that
 is also merely an
 idea / narrative
generally referred
  to as "oneself"

         ~

    free-willed
 individuality and
suffering are twain
   peas in a pod

         ~

  laughably - and
 hysterically so -
  simple is what
      we are

simply look back at
    the looking

         ~

words are evidence
    of grasping

    at notions

at elements of *a*
      reality

   footprints in
  conceptual sand

  er.. make that
     quicksand

         ~

    even merely
 seemingly being a
 being is "my will
 be done", aka the
  essence of sin,
i.e. of separation
  (seemingly out
  (ex-perience))
 from <ineffable>

         ~

   "no amount of
 effort is needed.

no amount of effort
will be successful.

 and yet, through
 mindful attention
 to the background
   of awareness
inherent within the
  present moment,

  awakening will
  inevitably dawn
    upon you."

         ~

   enlightenment
  isn't a being's
discovering a being
 state to memorize
   and reproduce
      at will

 it's the absence
  of the sense of
being a being (ha)
 with a will to do
    any of that

         ~

    abiding in
     awareness

   is absence of
 re-presenting it

of casting it away
    to seek it

    ex-ternally

        in

    ex-perience

       i.e.
  re-presentation

         ~

   experience is
seeming movement of
awareness seemingly
 away from itself

   projected, as
      it were

 "i am" out there
 (mind) instead of
  in here (heart)

    reflection

         ~

  how fascinating
 that this seeming
       life

is merely a case of
   taking a role

 within a scenario

   too seriously

 we even admonish
    each other

    not to take
   ourselves to
     seriously

   and yet such
  is exactly what
  we - as seeming
 individuals - are

links:

http://sufficient.freeshell.org/Seekers/